WiSh uPoN a FaiRyTaLe

Happy Birthday!!

2007-09-12T08:04:00.000+08:00

Hehe...today is finally my birthday! Woohoo! lol...though cannot go out but still ok la..haha...at least can still eat cake...hmm...

The right keys

2007-08-08T08:26:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, you told me about how each person possesses a key that can open only one thing. True Love's heart. Ha ha...funny how you suddenly said that to me all of a sudden...i was so shocked...but than it got me thinking...and i pondered over it over these past few years...and i realised...that's not true. There is more than one key that can open a person's heart. The first lock is their armour...the facade people hide behind to protect themselves against harsh words...the second lock, is a casing wrapped up in lies...lies people tell to themselves to hide the truth...the last lock is the hardest...matter of fact...its not even a lock...its a quest. A quest to not just snatch the heart from the hollow body but to recieve it from the person's soul. Plus god knows how many other locks and quests are inside that pumping heart itself. Lol

If love is so hard..why do everyone fight for it? With a population of 4 million and another few billion beyond these shores, is it really worth going on this quest? Imagine...unlocking locks for the rest of your life...somehow always coming to a dead end each time...keys that fit my friend...lol..may god bless you and give you the guidance to find that specific lock. Cuz im not sitting around and letting people unlock me and me unlocking them as well. My heart is already broken and my other locks are thickening with each passing day. I lost this game a long time ago. Matter of fact, just yesterday. To a worthier opponent.

Gazing at last night's moonlight

2007-08-07T08:38:00.000+08:00

I miss the times we spent...back when we were carefree...where we would gaze at the moon and stars for that brief moment...but time has past and we need to move on..Been feeling so empty these past few days...being so mean...I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused...i dun wan to hurt anyone anymore...i need to move on from here...i cant stay back anymore...I'm sorry.

Moonlight rays are shining down
Setting my heart in disarray
Who knows what God might say
To my shallow soul of love in vain

Crying out to the moon above
Hoping the heavens might atone my taint
Filled with tears and treacherous pain
Of misery that followed the monsoon rain

I guess all my life
pain was but part of the game
Nothing more and nothing less
Of life's true lesson
to teach me its true name

This only ended in vain.

Its been too long my friend ^^

2007-05-29T08:52:00.000+08:00

Hello^^...Man..its been so long since i last blogged...so lazy sia..haha..Poly life has been such a drag...everyday projects after projects..man..i really regret not going to JC now...hiaz..Well...whats done has been done. hehe..I'm really glad my dear has been in my life. everything dunno at least can ask him..haha..summore he so sweet lor^^...hmm...well...i'm still very sleepy now...when i find something interesting to talk abt another time, i'll let you guys know k?

byebye^^

Feeling like Crap...

2007-04-08T09:00:00.000+08:00

Hey there, *yawns*...its 9 am in the morning...so sleepy right now....didnt get much sleep cuz of something that kept troubling me.Well anyways...Tadah!!...i bot a new bag...finally...=.=...its been ages since i last bot a new bag,...and now all i need is...new clothes..=.=....and thats like even worse...clothes hardly fit me or always have such weird cuts..T.T haha..but lucky that day i managed to persuade Karen to bring me to the Expo for the book fair(thank you so much Karen T.T i love ya!!^^)Haha and we bot a pink and yellow coat!!^^yay!! haha...i bot the yellow one though..here i'll show you...hehe...so happy.Well now that i look at these two pics...come to realise...alot of yellow and white..-.-...erm..concidentally since both are bot at diff days. But i do so love the OP bag...gold and white my fave!!^^ the yellow coatdress is lovely just as well..a little too big but nothing a few stitches cant handle.*Yawns*...here i blogged karen...-.-...i blogged already...lol...hopefully weds can go out sia...*pon the student union crap*^^..lol..well...i gotta go prepare for work le..byebye!! ^^

My new shoes!! ^^

2007-04-03T10:59:00.000+08:00

Hello!!! MUAHAHHA!!! Check out my new shoes!!! I just bot them last sat. Omg..was so glad that still got my size la. Haha..the only customer who actually bot this shoe was a Jap lady who spoke rather fluent english ^^ quite surprising really.haha...simei usually has alot of koreans staying there...hardly knew that Japs stay in that area too. Lol...well anyway, she was the only one who actually bot these shoes lor..so sad...>.<...Dunno why our customers sometimes so weird de..always buy those shoes that are bright or in loud colours. I mean..sure personal choice but...buying 2 or 3 pairs in the same tone and colour is abit too much rite...i mean...matching clothes will sure be tough later. >.

Major Update

2007-04-02T09:31:00.000+08:00

Hey there, for all those people out there who bothers about how i'm doing in my life, THANK YOU!! And yes...its been quite a while since i updated so...erm..please forgive me.Alot of major changes in my life have been happening so i'm still adjusting. So alright..well..i guess i shall start from the beginning, after my o lvls. So here it goes...please dun fall asleep>.<.
Well generally, I got accepted to TP's Business Studies Group along with 3 of my other classmates.Which is actually not bad cuz i managed to get into the top 3 courses i wanted. i actually placed NP's business first >.<>.< style="font-family:Arial;">Well...after all this, i went to get a job at Bata. AND THE NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS I'M NOT SUITED FOR THE JOB, TO HELL WITH YA!!! so what if i look like i can kill the next person that comes along or i look too superficial to serve others!!! This is me! all me...i may not be pretty or that nice but still...the marketing world has always appealed to me so please just respect what i love.I'm sick and tired of hearing my family and friends all gasped everytime i tell them i enjoy my work.I do enjoy it.I may be short and fat but still, i enjoy what i do!I never knew why but I always enjoyed being in the retail or F&B business,where i could make sales to people.I admit i may not be the best in this line but i'm still good at it.I've already tried sitting behind a desk and covering myself with paperwork but I just cant do it.T.T I really tried but somehow i always felt so trapped there..and i actually felt into depression during that job.Oh if only you could understand..I dun wan a job where i can only look through the window to see the world..stability isnt the only factor that matters to me.I enjoy meeting new people...learning new things...why the hell did you think i requested for Discovery Travel and Channel on my SCV! When i wanted to be a psychiatrist, everyone told me to give up on my dream..just cause i appear to be blur and stupid to this people.Only a few people actually bothered to push me on.I really dunno what I wanna do in my life anymore...I dun wanna be judged on my appearance or performance anymore..I'm so tired right now..so lost...so many things are pushing to me to change and adapt but..its all too soon...I really wanna earn my freedom someday...no longer a slave to society or trapped in my own house...i really wanna know where i truly belong someday...where i can be the reason for someone's smile someday.I really wanna be the reason behind the smiles of the people i love.Where for once in my life, my family and friends would be proud of me.Not just happy...but proud that I'm a member of their family and their friend.I wanna make it big someday and I'm willing to work hard for it. So it would be better if you would stop judging me and just keep silent. Even if you dun approve of what i do, please just zip it. Cuz your words matter to me...and if you disapprove, that pain would scar me for the rest of my life.

My new Blog!!!

2007-03-02T12:40:00.000+08:00

Kitties!!! I love cats!!! Finally managed to get a blog about cats done right...phew...being a computer illiterate is hard...can bearly figure out how to adjust the colour schemes and sizes...the words just now were almost as big as my mouse 0.0...gave me a heart attack...hiaz..well...still got alot of adjustment to do to my blog...gotta get my tag ready..T.T...midi sounds..T.T...and so much more...gotta get the pics ready too...why didnt anyone ever mention how much hard work it is...T.T

Someone once told me...

2007-02-23T09:32:00.000+08:00

Someone once me... that if you ran from your past, you'll be left with nothing one day.

How true those words are now to me. Choosing to forget who I once was and how I came to be was stupid. I'm sure all of us have something we wish to forget or wish to undo however, none of us have that power to erase our past.

But people change as they age, time healing wounds, slowly easing the pain and before we know, the wound is healed! Of course scars are often left behind but after a while, don't most of us get used to it? LoL.

Well nothing much happened today, was trying to find a job but...couldn't find one T.T. Hiaz...no wonder people say the harder you try to find it, the harder it is to find..>.<>

A Lost Star...

2006-11-18T10:41:00.000+08:00

You take a star...and you lead it far away from heaven..and it'll be lost...like I'm lost without you...

Somehow..right now i'm really wishing that you could be by my side but i know that if you do, it'll only make the pain worst. Emptiness of the soul is so much more excruciating than physical scars...the loneliness just eats into you piece by piece until whats left of you...is only an empty shell.Moving on just seems really distant at this point of time...the fear of being hurt again is what pulls me back from moving on. I know in life everyone must move on but still..I'm too afraid to move on. If I learn to trust and love someone else, will I end up being broken like I am now? I dont think back much of our memories now...but each time I think of moving on, its memories of you that haunts and hinders my journey. Its been too long that I was lost and like the stars, I too fear for my sanity and well being. Lost in my shrouded memories and darkness...hopefully one day someone will find me admist these chaos and aid me in my insecurities.But until then, today will be the day that your memory will be left behind because I know it is not impossible to move on so until the day when i am stronger, you shall be forgotten forevermore.

Signed off,
Ras